recent selfie

 living in fear of dying 

every single minute of the day now 

heavy thoughts occupy my mind 

I wanna be dumb

and blissfully unaware again

I wanna fall for the boys like before 

I am looking for so many world truths 

cant seem to handle them though..

..but sometimes 

I don't wanna know anything 

or go anywhere at all 

all I wanna do is create 

and if im not creating 

I feel like im dying 

I hate feeling like this 

is it normal ? is it this meant to happen like this?

who is okay living like this ? 

I know this isn't anything new

who should I ask?

I hate not having anywhere I can be social at 

around me 

in my area

cant find ppl like me 

im not weird 

I know there's other ppl like this 

where the fuck ARE YOU 

I LOOK FOR YOU 

CANT SEEM TO REACH YOU 

I know 

in reality 

this is just life 

this is normal for me 

and my destiny...